Word of Salvation – Vol. 35 No. 18 – May 1990

 

Husbands, Love As Christ Loves

 

Sermon by Rev. S. Bajema on Ephesians 5:25-33

Reading: Hosea 2:2-3:5

Singing: 851,2; 424;389;62:1,3,4; 366; 85:3.

 

Church of our Lord Jesus Christ

Marriage is one of the most misunderstood areas in our modern age.

Here we have two separate unique individuals who come together in the most intimate and close relationship.

And what a complex thing it is!

There are hundreds of interactions occurring all the time.

Like the way they are at breakfast, in saying hello, or goodbye, or not saying anything at all!

Yet we receive little training for it.

There are few relevant subjects, if any, in school curriculums.

For those in our society planning marriage there's no compulsion to have pre-marital counselling.

In fact, most of the marriages today are more fallen into than there being any sense of careful planning.

Yes this is even among believers!

How many of us can say we were properly prepared for what we're in now?

Didn't we, instead, have a little bit of misleading worldly advice?

That romantic, flash-in-the-pan love which gets pumped out from the television and movie screen; that gets screamed out of our radios, and which gets subtly spread through books and magazines.

You can have ultimate happiness!

The message is so strong – and yet, also, so wrong!

You see, what's it's saying is that you and I can make it on our own.

Let's compare this, however, with our text.

The text begins:

"Husbands, love your wives...!"

But does it continue:
            "Husbands, love your wives,
             because you have the untapped potential
             to bring out in yourself an adult
             who can make decisions on a mature level...?"

Well... er... not exactly...!

Much as this would fit in nicely with the world around.

They seek the answer from within.

Actually, the apostle Paul continues by making quite a heavy theological statement:

"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.”

What a sentence!

And certainly not just because of its length!

Imagine!

Our frail, strife-torn, inadequate marriages, are linked into God's relationship with His people!

Truly it's upon the covenant that we're to base our everyday lives.

But so that we can properly understand this basis let's see what God's love is all about.

"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church...!"

As Christ loved the church...!

Here we're taken way back before any emotional impulses of the moment.

Back to before our world began.

In that foreknowledge of God, Christ set His love on His people.

He was determined, already then, that He would save them.

And all through history He has been working out this plan.

This is clearly shown in the Old Testament.

Adam and Eve went against God.

They thought only of themselves.

And yet what does God do?

Does He just sit back and say, "Well, they did ask for it!"

Is mankind left to itself?  No!

Instead, God searches out the sinner.

He calls out to the man: "Where are you?"

Brothers and sisters, doesn't that sum up so well the whole Old Testament?

How many times didn't the Lord's people reject Him!

How many times didn't they go their own selfish ways!

With no thought whatsoever for their covenant partner!

Take those years in the wilderness.  So many perished for their sin.

Yes, we can't forget that God is just.

But does He give up?

Certainly not!

Despite them rejecting Him, His covenant promises are sure.

Far stronger are they than even the foundations of this earth!

Wasn't this pictured so vividly in our first reading?

There we heard the Lord commanding Hosea:

"Go, show your love to your wife again.  Though she is loved by another and is an adulteress.  Love her as the Lord loves the Israelites, though they turn to other gods and love the sacred raisin-cakes."

What a commitment!

What an immense, sacrificial love!

Boys and girls... I'm sure each of you has a special friend.

Yes – perhaps you have lots of friends!

But among all these friends there's one you really like.

You get on well with them.

If you're not sure who it is, your Mum or Dad would know.

They remember all those times you've pleaded: "Oh Mum, can I please go to Johnny's place?"

Imagine, though, that your special friend started to ignore you.

He or she plays with other children.

You're really hurt, and so confused.

You might even cry about it.

He doesn't want you.

You ring up, you try to talk with him at school, you invite him around... but still, nothing!

That makes you sad.

I mean, you've always been good to him.

He came to your birthday party.

When you went out to the fun-park, he came along.

You've shared heaps of toys together.

And now – it’s as though you never existed!

Every time you meet you're treated as though you're not there.

What embarrassment!  What hurt!

It's just as well we're imagining this.

We wouldn't really want it to happen, would we?

But you know, boys and girls, mums and dads, grandparents, single people, we have treated God even worse than this!

We've all sinned against God.

It wasn't just the Israelites who hurt God.

Oh yes, we can certainly see, though, how they stood out as a prime example.

It was they whom Jesus referred to in that Parable of The Tenants.

Those mean and nasty tenants who beat and killed the servants of the owner.

They were the ones who even leaped upon the owner's son, and murdered him for their own selfish desires.

Jesus is pointing, with this parable, to what He Himself would go through.

All that rejection God had suffered in the Old Testament was nothing compared with what our Lord went through.

God Himself had come down to earth.

And He experienced physically all that selfishness of mankind.

What was the small black and white negative in the Old Testament, had become fully-blown up in colour in the New!

And the Greek word that points so clearly to this is agape.

Agape.

It means love.

A very special kind of love.

Christian love.

Not a love that seeks purely for pleasure.

Nor a love for our friends.

It goes far deeper than anything the world can ever know.

And it's come to life in Jesus Christ.

He's the perfect living example of how it shows.

He knew exactly what He was getting Himself in for.

He was fully aware of what His ministry meant.

He's often spoke about what He had to go thorough.

Sure, the disciples didn't understand.

But Jesus did!

Education experts will tell you that the best kind of teacher is someone who has experienced what he's teaching.

The same at the Reformed Theological College, where we learnt that the most relevant sermon is one the preacher has himself gone through.

Now, if this is indeed true, look at Jesus!

What a teacher!

What a preacher!

What a Lord!

It's he who calls us brothers.

He's calling us, husbands, to reflect on His example.

But... wait a minute!

Before we go to living this ourselves, can we fully understand it?

Verse 32 speaks of a profound mystery.

And, inquisitive humans that we are, we don't like mysteries.

So we begin to ask: "How can I do what the Lord says if I'm not quite sure why?"

To have the right motivation is an important thing.

Without it we quickly lose heart.

Our direction becomes confused.

"So, Lord, why throw in this profound mystery?"

Actually, it's mystery only for the unbeliever.

For the Christian, through faith, all is revealed.

It's literally there for the taking.

Those unbelievers may have a contented, happy marriage.

Yet it can never be truly fulfilled.

Only in seeing the marriage relationship as a beautiful model of the church's union with Christ can spiritual blessings come down!

The believer, you see, is never outside the sphere of special divine care.

Now, he may be a wayward Christian, who's been a backslider.

He, as a husband, has been lax about his behaviour, about his language, and about his personal walk with Jesus.

He's slipped away from the committed close relationship with his Lord.

Indeed, he's far from reflecting that self-less giving of Christ.

Instead, he's become a negative, selfish man.

His wife is his doormat.

His children hardly know him.

And what they do know of him only discourages them from wanting to know him more.

Yet, he's in the church alright!

Perhaps this example is extreme.

There are few like this.

But just think, husbands, of your own situation.

During the rest of today, and especially in this week ahead, how are you "nourishing" and "cherishing" your better half?

Consider verse 29:
            "After all, no one ever hated his own body,
              but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church...!

Actually, our N.I.V. Bibles are a little cold in this verse.

The words "feeds" and "cares" don't convey the real intent.

In this regard, the New American Standard is better.
            It uses the words, "nourishes", and "cherishes".

Nourishes involves more than just feeding.

It speaks of actively promoting health and strength.

And this, not just in providing food, but especially in education.

The husband is to be teaching his wife.

It that's what Jesus is doing with the church through His Spirit, then surely the husband must be doing that in the same Spirit's strength.

Yet, how many of us do?

Is there a regular devotional time together?

What about a set period to place each day's problems in the Lord's perspective?

Brothers, I hope you haven't neglected this!

Could it be that it's your wife who has the spiritual get up and go?

"Ah", you say, "she's better at it than me!"  "I'm far too busy!"

As you sow, so will you reap!

Sadly, this will apply especially to the next generation.

A distorted pattern now, will be far worse in our children.

Then there's that beautiful word "cherishes".

From the original meaning there comes a real warmth.

Like a lovely cosying up together by a roaring open fire.
A nice evening at a restaurant.
Just the two of you!

Maybe you're thinking, "We never get the time!"

And the well-worn excuse, "I'm far too busy!"  "There are other things to do!"

And we can so easily accept that things are alright.

There are no dissenting voices.

But we're not really understanding the nature of our woman, are we?

It's not in their character to come up front with their deep frustration.

Rather, the resentment burns deep.

And we, being the blundering, unsympathetic males that we are, just keep bumbling along!

Have you really had a heart-to-heart lately!  Have I given thought to my wife?

You see, basically our nature is selfish.

It takes a lot of effort to think of someone else.

Especially the one closest to me!

We take her far too much for granted.

Yet, does our Lord stop, even for just one moment, in His consummate care for the church?

If He did the consequences would be terrible.

We can't live without His nourishing and cherishing.

And as you reflect on these blessings He pours down, are you going to be the one to deny them to your wife?

Brothers, we stand before an Almighty and Awesome God.

A God who's given us talents to use.

Well... where are they?

Buried in our business?

Or in our sport, or hobby, or mates?

God calls us to work at our marriages.

He desires that we see, and put into practice, our calling to be Christian husbands.

There's a hymn in our Psalter Hymnal that speaks of our devotion to the Church.

It goes:
            "I love Thy Church, O God!
             Her walls before Thee stand,
             Dear as the apple of Thine eye,
             And graven on Thy hand.”

If we reflect on the marriage pattern of our text, couldn't we sing:
            "I love my wife, O God!
             Her situations before me stand,
             Dear as the apple of my eye,
             And written on my hand."?

And then the next verse, we don't even need to change this one!
            "For her my tears shall fall;
             For her my prayers ascend;
             To her my cares and toils be given,
             Till toils and cares shall end.”

Yes, and may this bring rain from heaven.

That the blessings of the Lord will makes us stronger in faith.

From the fringes of the church, to be drawn like a magnet, into an increasing holiness.

That's what we need, brothers and sisters!

Not a ten-day meditation course!

Or yet another advice-giving article in a worldly magazine!

For what we husbands are to work for, to work for, is that which Christ Jesus is busy doing.

In the words of verse 27:
            “...to present her to himself as a radiant church,
              without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish,
               but holy and blameless."

On earth the church is often in rags and tatters, stained and ugly, despised and persecuted.

But one day, my friends, she'll be seen for what she really is!

Nothing less than the bride of Christ, "without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish."

It's to this constructive end that Christ has been working.

And He's continuing in that precious work.

Martyn Lloyd-Jones described it this way:

"Dare I put it like this?  The Beauty-Specialist will have put His final touch to the Church, the massaging will have been so perfect that there won't be a single wrinkle left.  She will look young, and in the bloom of youth, with colour in her cheeks, with her skin perfect, without any spots or wrinkle.  And she'll remain like that forever and ever.

The bride hasn't been making herself presentable.

Why it's the groom who works hard to make her the beauty she ought to be!

It's his love and self-sacrifice for her, his cleansing and making her holy.

All these things especially designed for her liberation and perfection.

Then when the Day comes in which our Lord calls out:
            "Man, where are you?"
            we will proudly say:
            "Lord, here I am and please, meet my wife!
             Yes that wonderful helpmeet you gave me."

AMEN